I used to have lots of stories about Target because my buddies Tyler and Matt worked there. I know this sounds ridiculous, but we used to show up at Target sometimes 3x a day just to bother them there. We’d always talk to Matt in the parking lot, he was a “cart monkey”, go inside and talk to Tyler if he wasn’t being sneaky, and then walk around. Tyler worked security so we inadvertently found out where all of the cameras were and stuff. After doing a loop around the store we would then purchase a Mt Dew and head out. Occasionally we were harassed by newbie-security people, but the managers always stood up for us because they knew we came in every day, bought stuff, and didn’t cause trouble.
On Saturday Liz and I stopped at Target on the way to a birthday party to pick up a present. After we walked in and got past the cheap dollar crap, I noticed an older man forearm-deep in the teen girls’ bikini rack. I then noticed he was wearing something akin to pajama pants with a crazy design that had a price tag on them along with a Marines Corp T-shirt. I would guess him to be in the 50-60 age range. I then looked him in the eye, most likely with a “what the hell are you doing” look on my face. He noticed me eye-balling him, got wide-eyed, dropped whatever he was fondling, said “oh!”, clapped/brushed his hands like they were dusty, and then started humming/singing “doo-do-do-do-dooo” as he high-tailed it for the door.
You know this story is too crazy to be made up. I just looked at Liz and said, “8 year olds dude.”
Recent Comments